♥ Resilience and Persistence

As long as I can remember, pockets of the net have been places of comfort to me. Some of those places I retreat to now are virtual pet sites like Neopets and Flight Rising, my tumblr, and my YouTube feed curated to show me lots of cozy ambience and videos about using my hands to create art. Starfrost Spire, my magical home in the dream dimension, is somewhere I go mentally for shelter and recovery. But it wasn't enough that I could only imagine the place—I wanted to be able to interact with it. I wanted to build it in the virtual world.

I struggle deeply with depression and anxiety. A few months ago my therapist suggested that I create a safe place in my mind to retreat to when things are overwhelming, and it inspired me to create this place. At first, Starfrost Spire was lonely. Harmony rested there after protecting the peace of the kingdom each day, but she rested in solitude. The palace seemed vast and empty; I didn't want to feel alone in my safe place. Beira and Plum, two plushies I have, already existed as comfort characters in my mind, so it was simple to integrate them into the story I was creating, and the roles they played for me in real life easily transferred to lore.

Truthfully, I have been away from work for a short leave due to my mental health. I told myself this was finally the time to learn how to create my Neocities site, and that I was going to make something that I could use as a grounding tool. Having St. Aurora to come home to mentally (and on the web) is incredibly comforting. I can pace the palace halls by exploring the links on my site, I can cheer myself up by looking at all my sparkling treasures in my web graphics collection, I can fill tomes in my library by moonlight when I write about myself and my companions. Coding Starfrost Spire, and the promise to add to it over time, has given me a lot of peace and purpose lately.

At the beginning of 2025, I decided the theme for my year would be "resilience." I haven't felt very resilient; I bought and moved into a home in July—then promptly burned out spectacularly between work, grad school, moving, family responsibilities, and more. In fact, for much of this last quarter of the year, I've felt crushed, felt that I had completely failed my resolve to remain emotionally strong through tough things. But now I am beginning to see things differently. I went through many hardships this year, even to the point of needing to step away from work for a period, but in this final quarter I have finally reignited the creativity that has eluded me all year. I am drawing, writing, coding, collecting local zines and starting new journals, building St. Aurora from the ground up.

This year was a lesson in endurance and recovery. I have endured, and now I am blossoming. Resilience is a noble goal, but persistence may be even more so. No matter how many times I am knocked down, I will gather my strength and use the love and support of my friends and family to get back up and keep fighting.

All in all, this longwinded post is just to get some things off my chest and to tell you that you, too, can persevere in the face of hardship—even if it's difficult. I hope the end of this year is full of good fortune for us both. I hope we both blossom.